mama needs a wine

After a hard day at work, it's back to my real job – motherhood!

A long tall glass of … water.

After our second daughter, Tabitha, was born it was like the guide-book to child rearing had been burnt and we had to start all over again.  Only this time I didn’t feel so panicked with every whimper or croak!  It had only been 16 months since Isobella arrived and oh boy,  had we forgotten everything!  Such as teaching them to sleep, getting no sleep yourself, the sound of  little snuffle and the constant rocking of the bassinnette, the exploding yellow poop, the bottle washing and trying to get them to… Yep, you guessed it..  To sleep.

Isobella was delighted with her little sister but was not happy about this sudden interruption in her world which revolved around her.  A couple of times I would have to gently pull her away from the baby as she was smothering her in kisses.  Or she would be holding Tabitha’s delicate little fingers a little bit TOO tightly…  Just the usual stuff but we always had to keep an eye on her.  Now days it’s the other way round and Tabitha is getting her own back.

Isobella had of course been the first and not playing favourites but there is something special about your first-born that is hard to explain to family or friends who have yet to become parents.  You have a little corner of your heart dedicated solely to them and no one else.

Isobella was our wonder child.  Everything amazed her and she was incredibly curious – a right little adventurer.  She would constantly have a surprised look on her face or curl up her lips as a mock grimace.   She would also have a look that we never managed to capture on film (Goodness knows we have captured every other kind of face!), she would pull a Mick Jaguar look, curling her top and bottom lip out in a pout and she would then breathe through her mouth like she was out of oxygen.  It was incredibly funny at the time but …  weird!

As with all new parents we have a ton of photos of Isobella, every stage…  Oh quick get the camera, Isobella is lifting her head…. Oh quick, Isobella has wind!…  Oh quick, Isobella just … oh wait, you missed it…  QUICK there it is again.  Everything was captured and we adored it all.  Our family and friends quickly became bored with the latest thirty odd photos of Isobella’s first meal so as time went by we were more selective.  QUICK, Isobella just pulled her self up!!!  QUICK….

THEN Tabbi came along.  Isobella wasn’t the one getting the attention it was Tabitha.  But this time round I found myself trying to just enjoy her without running to get the camera every five minutes..  Inevitably there are less photos of Tabitha as a baby which to some extent I regret.  But we have been making up for it.

Tabitha is our comedian and smoocher.  She’s constantly requiring kisses and cuddles and will do anything for a laugh.   She will be the first one to cuddle you and kiss you goodbye and the first when she says hello.  Infact she uses it to stay up a bit late “Kiss mummy, one more kiss!”  She’s a sweetie and is very attentive to your feelings.   She is also our accident prone child and has her fair share of accidents for a three year old.  Anyone would think she lived in an abusive household with the number of  bruises, black eyes, broken bones and burns that she has had.  BUT I hasten to add… She really is just plain unlucky and clumsy.

She also happens to be a dead ringer of my grandmother who died back in the 80’s.  It’s quite strange seeing my Grandmother’s facial expressions being made by my toddler!  She even has the the same gappy teeth and unruly hair like my Nana…  Its Freaky!

We have also been less strict on Tabitha as well.  I’m not sure if we have just been picking the battles, have let her get away with more, or if it’s because she’s the youngest and probably the last baby…  But she also has a habit of doing something naughty followed by doing something very adorable and then requesting the kisses and the cuddles – we are just push overs I suspect.

My husband is the worst for this habit.  Tabitha will be hitting Isobella or going for a bite and my reaction is to put her in time out for her bad behaviour.  My husband will do it when it warrants the discipline.  But the other day,  after Tabbi threw something at Isobella, he just looked at me and said “I can’t do it, she’s gone all cutsie on me…”  Grrr…  well that doesn’t help honey!

But I hate to admit it.  She does turn on the charm when she knows she’s done something naughty and it melts my heart to put her in time out…  I need to take some concrete pills – and get hard!

Tabitha has been through a lot this year and we have also decided that she needs guidence rather than discipline.  We don’t want to be too hard on her but at the end of the day, how we deal with her bad behaviour is guiding her not matter what we do.

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Kids – need to be taken with at least one piece of dark chocolate and a glass of your favourite Pinot Noir!!

Hey all,

Well someone mentioned that I should start a blog and it has taken me over four years to get my sorry butt into gear and “Just Do It” – hmmm  is that copyrighted??  Probably but I’m using it as in context!

SO, who am I?  I have an awesome but stubborn husband, two beautiful but gloriously over active girls and one tabbi kitten named … Wait for it…  Sequin Bell Princess Pussycat.  She is a glamorous pussycat and totally lives up to her name.

We live in Massey, which is a suburb of Auckland, New Zealand in a little three bedroom house that is surrounded by trees and a ton of Tui’s (native birds to NZ which have a distinct warble).

My eldest daughter, Isobella,  is four going on sixteen and Tabitha is nearly three going on sixteen.  They can be at times the sweetest little angels you could ever set your eyes upon.  Then at other times they are the horrors of all horrors and very, very and I mean very – tiring!

Above all, they are NEVER dull and we have had our fair share of adventure, mishap, laughter and tears in the last four and a bit years than I have had in my entire 40 years on this planet… And I’d like to share them (not all of them) with you…

Isobella was born one week overdue on the 16th February 2008.  Although her arrival was pretty straight forward it was a pre-cursor to how she would be in life…  Frustrating, tiresome and at the end of the day pretty friggen AMAZING!

We had been all set for a natural birth, gone to ante natal classes and brought all the recommended nick knacks suggested for the birthing procedure.  Spitzer bottle for spraying moisture onto ones hot and flustered face while pushing, lip balm for smearing on cracked lips for all the lip smacking and breathing “Hoo hoo hee hee” that dry up ones lips.  Maternity pads – for both ends (need I say more…) and a large unattractive cotton nightie that can be buttoned down the front.  Which incidentally was the only thing that was actually used in the end.

SO, at 36 weeks Isobella decided that she didn’t like being upside down and did it her way – she wiggled her way around to so that her head was up, in other word in breach position.  After many trips to a specialist to try to turn her back, kneeling on the floor, butt up, head down and crawling about the lounge for twenty minutes at a time – I was told that since I was a geriatric mother (aged 36) that I was at risk and would need a C-Section.  She wasn’t going to budge and quite frankly I didn’t want to attempt to push her out legs first so we booked in for the 15th Feb.  Even then we were delayed by eight hours because of emergencies in the delivery ward so we were sent home and told to come back in the morning.

The following morning after going into theatre, I had a very large and painful IV inserted into my hand and another large needle into my back,  15 minutes later Isobella arrived and promptly urinated all over my exposed guts and then squawked into life.

She sqawked ALOT actually but the thing that frightened me was I just didn’t know what to do.  I had read all the books, did as much research as I could with friends who had had kids, trawled the internet for information and even had a website telling me what to expect (this was after all pre apps!) each day before and after birth.  But when she cried I literally didn’t know what to do.  Talking to her seemed to hush her so I just did that but felt like a complete idiot…  The maternal instincts were not kicking in!

Austin (my awesome but stubborn husband), was fantastic with her, very calm and collected.  So I left it up to him to soothe, dress her and change nappies.

Two days in the hospital were enough for me and we left to go to our pre booked (and might I add – FREE), birth care unit which was a life saver.  I had my own room, en suite, TV and personal midwife 24/7 and each one of them was like fairy grandmother – kind, patient, supportive and ever-present.  The food was divine and there was a never-ending supply of hot chocolates!

It also meant that I was able to bond a little better with Squirt (we had affectionately called her) and come to grips with suddenly having a fragile little person to look after.

Well…  one down, one to go!

Tabitha was born on 22nd September 2009 and was lets just say…  Same same but different.

My pregnancy with Tabitha had been very uneventful.  I did have rather bad heart burn during the last trimester but that was about it.  It wasn’t until I went one week overdue that things suddenly became very interesting.  

Now since I had had a C-Section with Isobella I was trying very hard to go the natural way with the second one so it took a lot of convincing the hospital obstetrician to allow me to proceed naturally.   BUT since I was a “geriatric mother” (there’s that term again?) and at risk, I was told that I would have to be induced.  So it was mutually decided that I would start with prostaglandin gel and see how things “progressed”.  Well nothing happened really.  And that was the start of four days of nothing.  Well I say nothing but in reality it was mild to severe contractions every ten or four minutes (depending on the dose) that accumulated to nothing.  I never progressed pasted four centimetres.

On the fifth day, with virtually no sleep, terrible contractions and completely exhausted I broke down and demanded a C-Section.  This was not the time to be a warrior amazon goddess hollering for a natural birth – I don’t think I would have been able to anyway.  So the plan was, break waters to try to induce labour, if nothing after two hours then we’d move onto Syntocinon, a drug that induces labour (What??  Isn’t that what the gel was for??? GAWD!!).  Then after eight hours if still nothing, then it’s out the magicians exit for bubs.  All the while I was hooked up to a monitor making sure that baby was ok – and she was.

At 8pm that night Tabitha was finally born by C-Section, captured entirely on film by my dutiful husband while I was lying comfortably on my back.  She squawked to life and this time I knew exactly what to do….

OR so I thought…

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